Join us for the Eulogy for Excellence Convocation Dinner (Amsterdam, December 1)

On the evening of December 1, 2016 the living (not-yet-dead) participants of Moneylab III and their guests are invited to a very special event: the first convocation celebration hosted by the University of the Phoenix, the top-ranked nomadic for-prophet business school dedicated to training the dead and the not-yet-dead to rise up together. The University, which focuses its curriculum on radical financial literacy and also provides a revenge consultancy, is administered by the artist-activist Cassie Thornton and researcher and writer Max Haiven.

129The evening’s highlights include the awarding of an honorary doctoral degree to Hannah Arendt, one of the most influential refugee thinkers of the 20th century. Arendt’s work connects totalitarianism, evil, economics and imperialism, themes very important to the university’s graduates.

“We are thrilled at the possibility that Hannah Arendt’s spirit might join us,” says Thornton, the University’s Vice President of Student Experience. “She will be travelling very far to be with us. Her wisdom and insights are more important than ever.”

The spirit of the honorary degree recipient will be invited to give a speech, with the assistance of Dawn Lueck, a gifted medium and anti-debt activist. She will be joined by noted Amsterdam-based media and finance scholars Geert Lovink and Joyce Goggin, who will help interpret the spirit’s message.

The evening will also include speeches from the university’s administrative staff, a valedictory address by the year’s top student and a special session allowing Moneylab’s not-yet-dead participants to gain financial advice from the University’s graduating dead students.

How, you may ask?

“We’ve developed a state-of-the-art app to allow our students to speak to the living and bestow financial wisdom from beyond the grave.” Explains Haiven, the University’s Vice President of Research Excellence. “Our researchers have been developing this financial technology for millennia and we’re thrilled to be debuting the prototypes at Moneylab.”

The night will culminate with the ritualistic awarding of a scholarship to a person worthy of immediate enrolment at the leading University for the dead, in the hopes that they will liberate their spirit from its fleshly prison and make more positive contributions in the next life.

“The dead have a lot to teach us about the nature of our debts and the power of money and finance,” Thornton explains when asked about the University’s mission. “Creating atmospheres where the not-yet-dead can benefit from this wisdom is vitally important today, but the dead also need to be trained. That’s our role.”

Haiven agrees.

“This may be funny, but it isn’t a joke,” he warns. “The not-yet-dead have depended on the dead for advice forever. Somehow we have the hubris today to imagine we can do without them. But maybe that’s what got us into this mess.”